Jürgen Klopp had some clarifying to do, and in typical Klopp fashion, he didn’t sugarcoat it. “I’ve already found my least favorite word of the year, and it’s ‘still.’ I could kick my own ass for it, but it just slipped out and I was on live TV. It means absolutely nothing, and I hope everyone out there gets that!” Klopp’s signature unfiltered, self-deprecating rant was directed at Julian Nagelsmann, who was standing just a few feet away, quietly smirking to himself. Working as a pundit for Magenta TV, Klopp had recently shot his mouth off with a careless comment that put the national team coach in a slightly awkward spot, stirring up some unnecessary media drama right before Germany’s World Cup opener. The now-chastened former manager was dead set on putting that fire out as publicly as possible. “Here’s what I’ve learned: I’m turning 59 the day after tomorrow and I’m still an idiot,” Klopp added. “We’re entirely in your corner, and you’re not going to hear a single peep from us that disrupts what you’re doing here.”
Honestly, everything seemed to fall perfectly into place on this breezy afternoon in Houston—for the squad, the coaching staff, and the fans packing the stadium. With a 7-1 demolition of World Cup debutant Curacao, Germany didn’t just dodge the opening-match curse that haunted their last two tournaments; they pretty much punched their ticket to the knockout rounds right out of the gate. You could practically see the ghosts of those back-to-back group-stage exits packing their bags. Kai Havertz, who bagged a brace, summed up the collective relief: “That’s going to give us a ton of confidence for the next few weeks. The first game is always a grind, we’ve seen that in the last few World Cups. So yeah, we’re pretty happy with a 7-1 win.”
Granted, NRG Stadium with its closed roof, cranked-up air conditioning, and flawlessly watered pitch wasn’t exactly a gauntlet. The sterile environment didn’t offer a real preview of the sweltering heat and humidity awaiting the team down the line. And let’s be real, the 82nd-ranked team in the world wasn’t exactly going to push them to the absolute brink. But you can’t really knock what the squad put on tape. Curacao actually showed a bit more fight than the talking heads predicted, yet Germany’s attacking mechanics looked incredibly fluid and well-choreographed right from the jump.
Nagelsmann kept things relatively grounded on the broadcast, clearly avoiding any premature victory laps. “I couldn’t be happier for the guys, especially looking back at the last two tournaments. Both of those openers were rough,” he said. “Sure, we were heavy favorites today, but you still have to actually go out and score seven goals. We kept our foot on the gas, and for the most part, I’m satisfied.” Deep down, though, the coach had to be thrilled with the execution. Just like in their tune-up against Finland a couple of weeks ago, his side managed to capitalize on virtually every phase of the game. They patiently picked apart Curacao’s low block in possession, punished them on high turnovers and fast breaks, and even struck off set pieces. It’s the kind of complete attacking profile that leaves the rest of the tournament with something to think about.